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"Icons of Protection": Richard Dean Anderson, Tanya Roberts, and Steven Seagal on hand to launch the service and keep everyone safe.


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Whatever happened to the hot bitches starring in Bond films like Ursula Andress, Halle Berry, Michelle Yeoh or Jane Seymour? Grace Jones as May Day! Tanya Roberts! Ok, I'm reaching here. Here's Daniel Craig with new Bond chicks Olga Kurylenko and Gemma Arterton. Who? Exactly.


Filed under: Web, CelebritiesOnce upon a time there were three little girls who were in trouble with the policeTwo in Los Angeles, and one in GlendaleAnd they were each assigned very hazardous dutySuch as drinking and driving and having sex on videoBut I took them away from all that, and now they work for me...My name is Harvey This is what Nicole, Paris, and Lindsay should do, go to work for TMZ.com! They're in there so much anyway that they should probably start being paid. Just think: they could go undercover in night clubs to find out what other celebs are doing, wear secret mini cameras in the SCRAM bracelets, show up at parties and openings and appear "drunk" when they're really on assignment for TMZ. It's the perfect cover! Seemingly screwed up celebrities reporting on real screwed up celebrities. It would also give them something to do than just partying. Where does Britney fit into all of this? Well, when one of the original Angels leaves the job or goes to jail, she can take over. Like Tanya Roberts. After the jump, the opening for Charlie's Angels. Imagine Nicole, Paris, and Lindsay in those roles. I'm not sure who would have the Bosley role in all this. Suggestions?Continue reading A new job for Nicole, Lindsay, and Paris: Harvey's Angels! Permalink | Email this | | Comments


newVideoPlayer("/macss_def.flv", 506, 423,"");To roll out their all-new level of Black Tie Geek Squad Protection (the geeks arrive in stretch limousines, carry silver trays, and are all named Giles), Best Buy enlisted the celebrity services of "Four Icons of Protection, Steven Seagal, Richard Dean Anderson and Tanya Roberts," according to the press release. (That's just three, but who's counting?) Our Zune-taunting cousins at Gizmodo were there to catch all the excitement. Sadly, despite the best efforts of the emcee urging him to, "Take this pack of chewing gum, a pogo stick shaft, and a box of nail filings, and make something blow up already!" MacGyver proved to be about as mechanically minded as our mom. Seagal, however, proved to be even more of a disappointment, throwing a fit as soon as he mounted the stage over the intensity of the stage lights. You'd think someone with as much experience starring in a string of marginally beloved martial arts movies, and shredding his blues away on the El Rey stage, would be accustomed to the hot glare of theatrical lighting. If we had to guess, however, we'd say his vampiric reaction might have to do with flashbacks to the powerful lamp shoved into his face by overzealous FBI agents trying to connect the actor to the Anthony Pellicano racketeering scandal. Previously: Steven Seagal Thinks The FBI Should Apologize For Killing His Career [Defamer]


Can I just run the pic of him coming out of the ocean in the blue shorts in "Casino Royale"? This is...disconcerting. The combination of the huge shades, and the gaunt face and the white fuzz makes him look like whatever it was toddling off the mothership in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". This isn't Daniel Craig's angle. But what does he care? He gets to pick which actress he's going to tangle with in the next Bond epic! And choosing the next Bond girl is not something to be taken lightly. Ursula Andress, Grace Jones, um, Tanya Roberts...uh, and Teri Hatcher. Ok, it's not that deep. "Daniel campaigned for Eva Green to do Casino Royale and is having a similar input in the casting of the next film," says my movie mole. "There'll be four girls, all of whom will look Latin-American as much of the film is set in Panama, and Daniel is having a hard time choosing between those screen testing." Brazilian actress Cleo Pires and Israeli Moran Atias are in the running I like that name, "Israeli Moran Atias". I'm going to use that name when I forge checks in the future. I know Eva Green's kind of a spaceshot in real time, but she was totally pale and mesmerizing in "Casino Royale". So I think we should trust Daniel Craig's taste. Why am I so into that damn movie? Probably because Pierce Brosnan put me into a deep, deep coma from which I was only awoken by Danny kicking ass and taking names and creating booze drinks named after the lady he's trying to tag. Photos: Getty Images


LAS VEGAS - FEBRUARY 09: Actress Tanya Roberts arrives at the grand opening of Mel Brooks' musical comedy 'The Producers' at the Theatre des Arts at the Paris Las Vegas February 9, 2007 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

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